Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you're currently walking down the street towards your best friend. In your hand is an empty watering can. Your other hand is tucked safely away in your hoodie pocket. A cool breeze cuts through the blistering heat and caresses your face with its pleasant iciness. You sigh softly as you walk. Why was it so fucking hot out today...? It's burning you inside out; yet you refuse to remove your sweatshirt. Hopefully you'll have a heatstroke. You'd love that.
You walk into the cemetery, and turn towards one of the newer tombstones. You can't help the smile that breaks over your face when you see his.
The tombstone is surrounded by huge, beautiful flowers. Pansies and buttercups and lavender bushes and rose bushes and bleeding hearts-those are your favourite-and poppies and daises and dandelions and all sorts of different flowers. They ran together in a large, miraculous colourful blur. Along the bottom of the stone was a line of stones painted different colours, lined up in the order of the rainbow.
The tombstone itself is marble, tinted a dark indigo. On it in gold are a dozen little chibi Gamzee Markaras. Eating pies, dancing, laughing, singing, drinking Faygo, sitting alone, smiling that giant-ass goofy smile of his. In the corner of the tombstone, however, was your favourite-a little sleeping Gamzee with a chibi Karkat snuggled up on his belly.
The sight of them cuddling like that brings tears to your eyes. You take a moment to wipe them clean before sitting down in front of the stone and smiling softly. "Hey, Gamzee.....how are you doing? I'm fine.....well, not fine, but better than I was....someone can say 'motherfucker' around me now and I won't burst into tears and run out of the room like an over-emotional fuckass......" You laugh bitterly.
"But seriously, though....I still really miss you." Your half-smile disappears. "Sollux and John are trying to make me feel better. They come over and watch romcoms with me. I appreciate it, even though I have to explain to Sollux what's going on, since he can't exactly see for himself. But I think John may actually like them. That makes me happy-ish that I'm not the only one that likes those...."
"You should've seen us yesterday, though! They let me give them makeovers!" You giggle a little. "It was so funny. They sure would be some fucking ugly girls. We posted pictures all over Facebook. It would've been so much funner if you were there, though......" You frown a bit as you run your hand over the chibi Gamzee and Karkat.
"Well, anyways.....John keeps fussing over me like an overprotective lusus fusses over a sick wriggler.....I'm starting to suspect he's got a crush on me.....sad that I won't ever be able to return the feelings, I still love you....." You let out a soft sigh. "And that would be like replacing you. I'd never do that. You were my one and only....that is before you went fucking insane." You can't help the soft growl that weaves its way into your words. Part of you blamed him for his death, even though you were the one who killed him. If he hadn't lost his mind then you would've been happily ever after and all that fairy tale shit. But no, he had to freak out.
You sigh softly. "I know...I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. I was the one that....." You can't say it. "You couldn't control yourself. I know you wouldn't do that on purpose. You do know I did what I thought I had to do though, right....? You would've killed everyone if I didn't. Me probably included. Not like I didn't deserve it, though......I was a shitty boyfriend......" You feel tears in your eyes and hastily wipe them away. "Dammit.....I took you for granted.....I'm so fucking sorry, Gamzee. I wish I could take back all the times I yelled at you or hurt you or called you names. I wish I could tell you just how much I really do love you, even if I really suck at showing it......" This time you don't try to stop the tears welling from your eyes.
"Dammit, Gamzee, I fucking miss you! Why'd you have to flip your shit?! There should've been another way to calm you down besides killing you! You didn't deserve to die!! If anyone should've died it should've been me!" Shit, now you're yelling. Your fists are clenched and tears are streaming down your face. You sit there shouting for about a good ten minutes. Random people look at you with worried expressions, and one even asks you if you're okay. Once you've calmed down enough to speak, you give her a weak "yes". You take deep breaths and wipe your face. This is how most of your trips to see Gamzee end up.
You continue to sniffle wetly as you run your hand up and down the headstone. "I-I miss y-you Gam......L-Living w-without you is getting h-harder and harder as each day p-passes....I-I just w-want to be with you again. I-Is that too much to fucking ask for?" You stop crying and instead stand up. "W-Well....I'm going to go calm down now.....Love you, f-fuckass.....Sleep well...." He better sleep well. His coffin is lined with silk and is full of roses. It had cost you a small fortune but Gamzee had left you everything he had. Ironic that he would leave all his money to his killer.
You fill up the watering can and water the flowers quickly before turning to go get some feel-good cuddles from John and Sollux. You look over your shoulder one last time as you walk. One of the chibi Gamzees smiles cheerfully at you. It makes you feel just a bit better, like he heard you, and he still cares.
You hope he's somewhere nice.