Karkat sniffled and pulled his security blanket a bit tighter around him. Ever since Gamzee had asked Tavros to be his Matesprit, he'd been in denial, and refused to leave his hive. He still couldn't believe that Gamzee would actually ask Tavros-and that he would say yes. It was horrible. And totally unfair. He'd loved Gamzee first, gog damnit! Gamzee was his! All his! Not anyone else's! And especially not the cripple's!
He sniffled again, almost in tears at this point. How could he have lost his best friend so easily? It gotten so bad he couldn't even look at the juggalo anymore without hearing his own heart break in his ears. He couldn't speak to him, couldn't tell him anything-he just couldn't. He wanted to tell him just what he thought of the cripple and how much he wanted to be his matesprit-but he couldn't. It would hurt both of them too much.
But he really did need to talk to him. Just maybe not directly. He took a shaky breath and stood up, walking over and sitting down in his desk chair. He logged onto his Trollian and took deep breath.
--carcinoGeneticist[CG] has begun trolling terminallyCapricious[TG]--
TC: HeY, kArBrO! iT's AbOuT tImE yOu DeCiDeD To TaLk To Me : o)
CG: YEAH. SORRY ABOUT THAT. UM, GAMZEE, CAN YOU COME OVER....? I.....I NEED A FUCKING HUG.
TC: SuRe BrO, i'Ll Be RiGhT oVeR : o)
CG: THANKS, FUCKASS.
--carcinoGeneticist[CG] has ceased trolling terminallyCapricious[TG]--
Karkat sighed and snuggled deeper into his blanket. Okay. Gamzee was coming over. Okay. Good. He didn't need to tell him what the matter was. He was just a bro that needed a hug. Yeah, yeah, okay. He wouldn't tell him why. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Okay.
Karkat's odd little pep talk was interrupted when someone knocked on his door. He bit his lips and tugged his blanket a bit tighter around him, scooting off his chair and sitting on the floor instead. "It's open, fuckass!" At this, the door flew open and in walked the most perfect of all beings.
Karkat took a moment just to stare at the boy he felt so flushed for. His hair, tangled and matted, his face, with a silly, huge smile plastered on the front of it, his chest, his arms, big and strong and muscley even though he hadn't worked out a day in his life, that warm glow that seemed to surround him everywhere he went-he took it all in. Want, no, need coursed though him as he stared; and he felt the tears welling up in his eyes again.
"Hey, Karbro. You okay?"
To this, Karkat could only shake his head and hold his arms out like a grub. "....hug." Gamzee raised his eyebrows, but sat down next to him and gathered him up in his arms. Karkat scooted into his lap and buried his face in his chest, breathing in that sweet, musky sent that came off him. He wished Gamzee could hold him close like this forever. The fact that he couldn't made the tears in his eyes dribble over.
He went into hyper-clingy-mood, hugging him tight and sobbing uncontrollably. Gamzee rocked him back and forth and ran his hands up and down his back, cooing softly, "It's okay, Karkat, it's gonna be motheruckin' a-okay." Which only made Karkat cry harder, because he knew things could never be okay.
"G-Gamzee, I-I cant take this a-anymore, y-you're-" He couldn't even finish his sentence. Gamzee only held him tighter. "Shhh. Karkat. You're okay. You're okay." Gamzee said softly, gently brushing the red tears away from his morail's face. Karkat wailed a bit longer before he finally calmed down. "W-Why the fuck are you with him?" He said, still sniffling a bit.
Gamzee seemed surprised by the question. "what?"
"Tavros. The cripple. Why are you with him?" Karkat replied, his voice no louder than a whisper.
"I love him, Kar." Gamzee said this as if it was the most natural thing in the world; as if saying it wouldn't hurt Karkat even more.
"But why? Does he put up with all your shit? Does he listen to you honk your horns for hours on end? Does he watch all your scary movies with you, even if he hates them with a burning passion?" Karkat sniffled. Gamzee was about to respond, but Karkat was on a roll.
"Does he let you rant about miracles for as long as you want? Did he ever let you use his lap as a pillow when you forgot yours? Did he calm you down when you wanted to kill him? Huh?" Karkat's voice got increasingly louder as he asked, crimson tears starting to fall once again.
"Does he know what to do when you go crazy again? Does he cry over you almost every night? Has he refused every single person that asked to fill a quadrant with him, in hopes that you would change your mind? Does he want to tell you just how much you mean to him every time he sees you? Does he know you like your sandwiches with lots of jelly and only a little peanut butter, with the jelly on top? Does he listen to your band's CD every night? Did he ever eat an entire soper pie because you asked him to try it, even though he wanted to puke after every single bite? Did he stay with you when you got sick, and took care of you until you felt better? Does he want nothing more than for you to scoop him up and tell you you love him? H-Huh? D-Does he?"
Gamzee stayed quiet, absorbing all this. A few indigo tears dripped down his face and landed on Karkat's, mixing with his and turning them a dark maroon. "I......I don't know, Karbro. I don't know."
Karkat clung desperately to him and said nothing for a few moments, then scooted off his lap and snuggled into his security blanket. "Get out." He said quietly.
"Karbro, I'm not leaving you like thi-"
"Get out, Maraka, or I swear to god I will be the end of you." Karkat growled. Gamzee hesitated for a few more moments, then stood up and turned to go. As he walked back to his hive, he could hear Karkat wailing so loud he was almost screaming. The sound tore his heart out. He never meant to cause his friend so much pain.....
Later that day, he told Tavros what had happened.
"Uh, Gamzee........I-It sounds like he loves you a lot." Tavros said softly. Gamee sighed. "I know. I don't know what to do, Tavbro.....I love you tons, you know that, and I would do anything for you. But.....I care about Kar too, he's my best friend, and I want him to be happy, and I think I kinda like him too-rgg! I don't know anymore!" He let out a growl of frustration.
"Well.....I-If you like him too.....y-you can go out with him for a while, if you want, and if it doesn't w-work out, t-then you can come back to me." Tavros suggested. Gamzee looked at him with wide eyes. "You'd let me do that, Tav?"
"Y-Yeah, Gam....." Tavros said, smiling softly. Gamzee leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "Oh, Tavbro, baby, you're the best! I'll tell him real fast, 'kay?" He jumped over the couch and ran over to his computer.
--terminallyCapricious[TC] has begun trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]--
TC: QuIt IgNoRiNg Me
TC: We CaN bE mAtEsPrItS
Karkat ignored the bings for as long as he could, before he gave up and sat down in his computer chair. What he saw made his eyes go wide.
CG: ARE YOU SERIOUS
CG: YOU'LL GO OUT WITH ME?
CG: .....YOU'RE NOT JUST DOING IT BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD FOR ME, ARE YOU?
TC: No WaY, bRo
TC: I pRoMiSe It'S nOt LiKe ThAt
CG: .....I FUCKING LOVE YOU, DIPSHIT......
TC: I dOn'T kNoW iF i FeEl ThE sAmE
TC: BuT i WaNt To TrY
CG: THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
CG: THANKS, FUCKFACE.
--carcinoGeneticist[CG] has ceased trolling terminallyCapricious[TG]--
Karkat stared at the screen for a bit longer before squeaking softly and hiding his face in his blanket. "No fucking way! He left Tavros to be with me? T-That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.....oh gog....I'm so happy right now...." He thought outloud. Maybe. Maybe they could be matesprits. Maybe they could be together. As long as he didn't mess this up, maybe.